Hello all of you out there I guess you all know that this will be my first blog here. I am a parent and have been one for more than twenty years. I have sons and daughters and one of them is even a special needs teen. As a result I have a little bit of experience as a parent.

I will tell you that even after two decades as a parent you will most likely still learn something new everyday in the arena of parenting, because I do. This leads me to today’s topic, which is aptly titled "Whose Castle Is It Anyway".

The Castle Law is something that needs to be established early and firmly within the family unit. The first thing that you need to teach the child or children as the case may be, is that they are the child, and that you are the parent or.

One way to do this is to let them have their opinion but to let them know that you have the final word. This is especially helpful with teens as they feel the need to be heard, and you can delegate responsibility to them depending on the intelligence of their input making them feel more involved in the decision making process.

The second thing you need to teach your kids as soon as possible is what is and isn’t out of bounds in the house. Some examples of out of bounds areas are your bedroom, office, and kitchen except for getting a drink. For you dads out there the garage is your domain, LOL. You need to let them know that permission is required for them to enter these places and for good reason to.

You and your spouse may have things of a personal nature in your bedroom that they need have no knowledge of. In the office you keep the things you need to run your household and if your spouse is a work at home mom or you work at home you make your livelihood there. The kitchen is mentioned, because if you let them they will ruin their appetites and the meal you made might be a waste. In the garage there may be things kept or stored there that could hurt them. Of course all the family areas are open to all members of the family.

Chores are a good way to establish your authority and a way to reward them on a performance basis. With chores assigned to each child or teen you can delegate some of the more mundane or unessential tasks to them and attach an allowance or reward to the completion of those tasks. This will teach them the value of a dollar as well as give them some idea of what it might cost to run your household, as well teach them the axiom of “The Buck Stops Here”.

Let them know you love them even when they mess up. Also let them know that if they break the rules you set or doing something they know better than to do that there will be consequences, but that you still love them and no less than before they screwed up. Kids make mistakes, but you are responsible for them and for their actions, but they need to know that all of their actions good or bad have some sort of effect good or bad on those they share their lives with.

Lastly be there for them no matter what. Be there for the good and the bad that happens in their lives. You should be their first and last choice of who to turn to when they need someone or something. Believe it or not your kids want to talk to you and tell you what is wrong or right in their lives, but you need to be willing to listen and they need to know it or they won’t turn to you and you will have no idea what is going on.

To all of you parents out there if you do these simple things and do them right not only will the house be a home to a family but it will certainly be your castle to rule and your rule will be accepted without question and with the love and respect of all who dwell there. What I am saying is to be compassionate, kind, caring, understanding, and firm. This has worked for me for more than two decades.

Have a great evening and a wonderful weekend, CIAO4NOW!!!!!