Welcome back to Parents R Us. It’s been some time since we’ve posted, but hopefully you will begin seeing more posts in the future.

Specifically for moms here, let me share with you a little disaster that I dealt with over the weekend.

Occasionally, I like to color my hair. Usually I do it about every 4 months. My personal philosophy (if there is a philosophy of hair coloring) is that keeping fairly close to your real color is a great idea. I usually do that to avoid having to color so often. Usually I go with a nice auburn/mahogany color, which isn’t far from my true hair color. I like the results. However, this time I made a fatal mistake.

I wanted to go with something with just a touch more red. I had seen a hair color I wanted to try in a magazine by Garnier. I use their hair color products and I’ve always liked them. Enter their new 10 minute bamboo infused treatment. Ladies, do not try this at home!

I was at Walgreens, considering my hair color options, when I was tempted and enticed by the girl working there. She told me if I went with the 10 minute option by Garnier she had a coupon. Oh…I love coupons. I absolutely love to save, and this time it was my downfall. I happily went with the suggested product (should I have perhaps thought about the fact this girl was barely over 18 and probably not the best one to go to for hair care advice?…yes!!!!), then I paid for my discounted product and went on my way.

Saturday night after the kids went to bed, I figured I have the 10 free minutes to myself, so I decided to get this coloring job underway. It smelled a bit different, but the box promised my hair color results would be exactly what I wanted (yeah don’t believe those things that tell you what the color will be) and it said the bamboo would be really moisturizing.

I put in the dye for the appropriate time. Got in the shower and rinsed it out and then conditioned with the special conditioner they offered. It irritated my scalp, which was weird, and maybe that was the first sign that something was wrong. I got out, towel dried the hair, and then I looked. Big mistake. I was shocked. Instead of the nice auburn my hair was some weird shade of dark magenta, or a strange purple, or well, I’m not sure really how to describe it. I looked at the box again. Definitely not the color promised on the box.

Now I am panicking. My husband says it looks okay, after getting over his initial shock at my new look. My daughter loves it, but she wants pink hair – no, I don’t think I should trust that advice and opinion. Lol. Now, my hair looks scary, the dye has it so dried out, and that has never happened before. Maybe I should just be happy with my hair and stop trying something new. Lol.

Was there a lesson learned here? Well, I definitely learned that you shouldn’t go with the “deal” on hair color. Also, beware of young sales girls. They have no idea what they are talking about. Most of all, I have learned that I really, really, really, like the color of my own hair. I’d love to have it back. So, beware moms. Avoid that 10 minute Garnier hair color. It is dangerous! They should have a warning on the box: “color may be stranger than it appears.”

So, I’ve posted a picture of my hair here. Let me know what you think gals. Do I just try to love it for the next 30 days (it only lasts 28 washes thankfully) or should I get some of that “oops” stuff that takes out hair color, even though it may be rough on my hair to do that? Any suggestions would be great.

Welcome back to Parents R Us. Today I want to talk specifically to moms, but guys feel free to read too. If you're a mom, more than likely you have particular ideas about what a mom should be. Maybe you're always trying to be the "perfect" mom and beating yourself up because you can never achieve that perfection you think you need to have. Part of your problem may be your idea of what a mom should be.

Most of us find ourselves being jealous of the mom down the street that seems to have it all together. She looks perfect, seems to balance everything perfectly, and we just don't think we'll measure up. What you probably don't know is that behind closed doors, that mom is just as frazzled as the rest of us.

The pressure is really on moms. Moms are supposed to know the right foods to feed the kids, the perfect stroller, the best activities for our kids, we're supposed to discipline our kids the right way, love them perfectly, and keep a household going smoothly. If we don't get everything quite right, soon we're calling ourselves a "bad mom," and worrying that our kids will never turn out quite right. Sometimes this comes from pressure all around us, like the media, movies, and books that talk about the "perfect" moms, and other times this pressure comes from our own expectations of yourself.

It's time to give yourself a bit of a break. We're going to look at some of the most common mommy myths out there and the truth behind them. You'll quickly realize you really aren't doing too bad as a mom.

Mommy Myth #1 - Great Moms ALWAYS Like Their Children
Big myth! Yes, you love your kids, but this doesn't mean you always like them. With all the challenges that come along with motherhood, there is no way you can be happy with your kids 24/7. It just won't happen. There are probably days you can't wait for bedtime so you can have some peace from them. It's not wrong to let your kids know when they aren't making you happy either. Don't suppress your feelings, but learn to handle them in a constructive way.

Mommy Myth #2 - Great Moms Immediately Bond with Their Kids
Most of us have the idea that the instant you have a child, you bond. It does work this way a lot of the time, but not every time. Many mother finds that they instantly bond with one of their children, but with other children it takes time for this bond to grow. Some women go through postpartum depression and find it difficult to find that bond. Don't worry. The bond will grow. Relationships take time, and this even includes your kids. This is true for step parents as well. If you become a step parent, don't expect to have that immediate bond. Trust takes time and the bond will take time, no matter how much of a mother's heart you have.

Mommy Myth #3 - Great Moms Can Balance Everything
We all know a mom that seems to balance everything smoothly. Her house looks perfect, she is balancing a great career, and her kids seem to act so well behaved all the time. It may look that way to you, but you're not seeing behind the scenes when she falls apart. You don't need to think that you can do it all, and you definitely shouldn't try to do it all. Interestingly enough, in other cultures, when a mother has a new child, other women band together to help her out. We definitely don't see this often in the U.S., and most of us think we just have to do it all on our own. You can't do it all! Realize it and come to terms with it. Sometimes your house won't look great, you may not always finish everything you want to, the grocery shopping may need to wait a day, and your kids won't always behave. It's okay. You're human after all.

Mommy Myth #4 - Great Moms Spend Lots of Time with the Kids and They Love It
Too many moms think they have to be there for their kids all the time. They try volunteering at school, going to every single game, helping out with field trips, and more. Moms need to realize that there can be too much of something great. Yes, your kids need your love and attention, but you can overdo it. Sometimes your kids are ready for a bit of independence. It's easy to try to do all these things to be with our kids, and then we really don't even spend quality time with them. Kids would rather have some of your time where you can relax, laugh, and enjoy being together. They won't enjoy it if your stressing out trying to man the punch bowl at their big school party, attempting to be at every game, and more. At this point, it becomes time that is not quality time because you're killing yourself. Spend quality time with your kids, but don't squash their independence.

These are only a few of the mommy myths out there that need to be dispelled. When we try to live up to myths, we end up stressing ourselves out. The best advice for moms is to try and follow your own instincts as a mom. Quit trying to be the "perfect" mom and just relax and keep trying to be the best mom you can be. Your kids will love this relaxed, yet imperfect, mom a lot more. You'll even teach them the lesson that they don't have to be perfect either - an important lesson for kids to learn!

Awhile back I asked several of my Facebook friends for some good parenting topics. One of the topics that came up was little boys and the important of a male influence in their life. I got to thinking about this idea, and although this is not quite on that topic, this idea was born from that suggestion - so thanks!

In a way, I do want to talk about the male influence in a boy's life, but I didn't want to gear this post just to dads, because I think this post is just as relevant for moms as well. The question I'd like to pose is simply, what do your kids see when they're watching you?

I have to tell you, there have been several songs that have led my thinking in this direction lately. There's Billy Currington's "Walk a Little Straighter," Rodney Atkins "I've Been Watching You," and a perhaps lesser known song by Phillips, Craig & Dean, called "I Want to Be Just Like You."

It's easy to get caught up in our life as a parent. We feed our kids, clothe them, make sure they're bathed, and a lot of times we're even able to get them the things they want to. Sometimes we tell them "yes," and sometimes we tell them "no." Our life becomes an endless motion on running in 50 different directions at once, all trying to make sure our kids have the great life we think they need.

While making sure our kids get the best we can give them in any way is definitely important, sometimes we forget to think about the image that we are portraying to our children. Perhaps while we run around trying to make things "better" for them, we actually portray an image that they don't need. Often we make mistakes with what we say, the way we act, and the things we do.

Although you may tell your child to do things, instill certain beliefs in them, and work to bring them up with moral values, it is more than your words that you must think about. After all, it is your actions that speak much louder than your words. Kids remember what mom and dad DO more than what mom and dad say. Tired of talking to your kids until you're blue in the face? Maybe it's time that you change the way that you act.

Now, I'll be the first one to proclaim that parents aren't perfect. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I'm not, and I'm definitely not going to achieve perfection in this life. I make mistakes, and I'm sure my husband and kids could attest to that. This is not what I'm talking about though. Everyone makes mistakes, and as a parent, you'll make your share of mistakes and more…but how do you handle those mistakes? Do you go back and apologize? If so, you're on the right track!

You'll never be a perfect parent. You'll make mistakes. Resign yourself to this fact. However, as a parent, I believe that we all are responsible for the way that we act. Although our children will come to a point where they are responsible for their actions, the responsibility of being a parent and influence on them is ours. So, once again I ask you, what do they see when they're watching you?

Enjoy the videos below too!

I would just like to welcome everyone back to Parents R Us. We know it has been a while since there has been anything talked about here, but I am going to remedy that right now. The last time we posted here Joy wrote the post, and it was for all of you moms out there. I think she had some great ideas about how to keep from losing your identities while being a full time mom.

Today we are going to talk about all of you dads out there and how important it is to not only take care of your family, but how to make sure that you also don’t disappear from yourself and your family as well. It is as equally important for us dads to not lose our identities as it is for our lovers and the mommies of our children. Fortunately I think it is a little bit easier for dads to maintain their identities than it is for moms.

Now we all know that part of a husband and a dad’s identity is providing for the family. Most of the men out there are the breadwinners. You have to pay the mortgage so that there is a roof over your family’s head. You have to put food on the table so that your family is healthy both physically and mentally. You have to put clothes on their backs so that they are cool in the summer, warm in the winter, and comfortable.

In order to maintain our own mental health, well being, and identity there are some things that us guys have to do for ourselves too. One thing we should all do is try to get a little alone time that has nothing to do with anything other than our own pleasure even if it is just going for a ride. In my case I like to go shooting sometimes because it relaxes me. I also like to skydive and surf when I get the chance.

Another way to maintain our own identities is to engage in a little romance or intimacy with the wife or significant other For the record I am not just talking about sex either, although that is also great…..and fun too. A candlelight dinner is a really fun way to show the one you love who and what kind of man you are. A late night swim or skinny dip with your honey in the pool or just relaxing in the hot tub is excellent too.

One of the best ways to keep your identity intact is by being involved in as many family activities as you can. Going to places like museums, zoos, or libraries with the family is great fun, and you all get to learn something and broaden your horizons. Going to shows or concerts is always good fun for family participation. Even something as simple as setting aside a day for family and seeing a movie or playing a game is good for dissolving an identity crisis.

Now I understand that life today is complicated and with most families having both parents work, it is not always easy to find time for your family let alone yourself, but you have to. I also understand that with today’s economy money is tight, but a lot of these things are not that expensive, and your family is worth the expense and so are us guys. However it is important that you and your family don’t forget who you are.

That’s all I have for you folks today here at Parents R Us. I hope it has been helpful especially to all of you husbands, dads, and boyfriends out there who are in that wonderful club called PARENTS. Until the next time we get together I hope you all have a wonderful weekend and an awesome week to follow, CIAO4NOW!!!!!

After a weekend full of harried back-to-school shopping, looking for notebooks, the perfect pair of shoes, and school clothes to please kids (a feat in itself), the day has finally arrived - the first day of school. *Cough* dollars later, the kids were off to school this morning without a hitch, and I found myself fighting back a few tears…I just can't believe…it's free childcare. Lol.

The first few hours of freedom have been spent working, and I forgot how much I can accomplish when the kids are in school. It's incredible. It takes a 10 hour work day down to about six hours. Amazing what you can get done when you're not running around fixing snacks every 30 minutes, answering questions like "how do you spell dinosaur" (had to throw that one in again) and picking out new Barney shows for the kids.

Here are just a few things that come to mind when I think back-to-school. (Feel free to throw in an "Amen" here and there).

- For a few hours each day the house will be quiet
- I'll finally be able to go to the bathroom by myself
- The house will stay clean more than 5 minutes
- The food bill will decrease by half
- I can actually have "alone" time with my husband
- The ability to go somewhere on my own
- Showering without having to chase the kids out of the room
- I get a break from Barney from 8am-3pm
- Listening to or watching what I want (instead of Barney, Wiggles, or my daughter on the phone…)

Of course, school time does bring about new challenges for kids and their parents, and I'm sure we'll discuss some of them along the way here at Parents R Us. However, just for today, it's time to celebrate…the kids are back in school! Have anything to add? Feel free to share as always!

Hi there, and thanks for taking time to visit Parents R Us. Today my post is especially directed towards the moms, although I know you dads will definitely get some insight from this post too, so don't bail out thinking this is only for women. After all, some of this can apply to men too.

Today I want to talk to moms about losing your identity in motherhood. Perhaps you have heard of this or it may have never crossed your mind. Whatever the case, this is a problem that many moms deal with and I really think it needs to be addressed.

Now admittedly, I'm not a conventional mom. I didn't get nine months to prepare for my kids - I became "insta-mom" lol. However, I know that I have found that it is very easy to become a mom and become totally immersed in motherhood (whether you give birth to children, adopt them, or get them by marriage).

Becoming immersed in motherhood is not a bad thing. It's great that you love your children - you should! The problem arises when you begin to lose your identity. If you have kids, you know what I mean. One day you look in the mirror and wonder who that is, or perhaps you find yourself in the grocery store suddenly forgetting how to communicate with people over the age of 5.

Women who work at home or stay at home with the children are often more likely to experience the loss of their own identity. When you are the "caretaker" for your children, sometimes those maternal instincts can directly conflict with having an identity of your own. The thing is, if you want to be the best mom, you have to maintain a strong sense of self.

You need to remember that you are a person, other than just a mom. You have dreams, hopes, likes, dislikes, wants, and needs - just like anyone else. Start pushing these things into the background all the time, and you are going to suffer from burnout, or "losing yourself." Yes, burnout can happen to moms. Simply look at the depression statistics among women who have children - they are staggering! This depression can occur postpartum or at other stages of motherhood. Many times the reasons moms go through depression (and some even suffer from nervous breakdowns) is because they have lost a sense of self, or a sense of their own identity.

You may be thinking, "this could never happen to me." You're wrong! If you don't take time now to maintain your own identity, you can deal with these problems, and at times they can become quite severe. The key is to recognize the problem before it becomes severe and work to make sure you keep your own identity. How can you do this? Here are some suggestions:

- Avoid being a mom that is too possessive. When you are overly possessive of your children, you give away your personal power to your children.

- Don't try to please your kids all the time. Not only will you wear yourself out, but you'll lose their respect, and you'll stop respecting yourself.

- Remember your own needs. Listen to them. It's not selfish to remember your own needs - it's simply honest and can help you maintain your own identity.

- When your kids make mistakes, remember it doesn't reflect on you. Too many moms feel like failures when kids make mistakes. You are doing fine as long as you are letting your kids learn through experiences of their own so they eventually become self directed.

- Have a life other than the kids. I know, it sounds impossible. However, you need to have a life that includes friends, your family, and activities you enjoy.

- Eliminate words like "guilty" and "selfish" from your dictionary. When you use these words on yourself, they destroy your confidence and diminish your true worth.

- Come to the realization that your kids don't ALWAYS need you for every little thing. There are quite a few things they can do on their own - you just have to let them.

- Get your spouse involved. If you are a single parent, then recruit the help of friends and family. You shouldn't have to do this alone.

- Last of all, stop thinking you have to be a perfect mom. Parenting is like an art that you are always working on. When you think you have to be perfect, this puts an unnecessary burden on you.

If you have forgot who you are, if you look in the mirror and don't recognize the face, or you just no longer even know who lives inside your body, it's time to do something about it. Don't lose your identity. If you do lose your identity, you can't be the mom you need to be. Moms who know who they are, who maintain their identity, and who ensure their emotional needs are met, are able to give even more to their children. So, it's not selfish, it is in your best interest and in the best interest of your family too.

I know this post is a bit long, but I have felt it is an important topic. Many moms have "crashed and burned" because of this problem. Hopefully this will be helpful to other moms out there. If you have any comments or advice to add, feel free to leave a comment. We always love to hear what you have to say!

If you are a parent, more than likely you have heard of Harry Potter, both the books and movies, at some point in time. The books are some of the best selling books out there and the movies have broken many records. However, there seem to be questions in the minds of many parents as to whether or not these books and movies are family friendly, and that's what I want to talk about today here at Parents R Us.

There are many churches out there today that feel that Harry Potter is wicked and evil. Then on the other side, there are many people who look at these books and movies as pure, harmless entertainment. As a parent though, you may be wondering whether or not Harry Potter is really suitable for your children…and it's definitely something important to think about. After all, it is important that you are careful about what your kids are watching.

I know that in our house, we usually don't let our kids read or see things that we haven't seen or at least done some research into. Unfortunately we made a mistake in this area recently, watching a movie we couldn't really remember too well, and when it was all over, my husband and I wished we would have been a bit more careful before showing that particular movie to the kids, although the movie did make a great point.

The reason I even brought up this Harry Potter subject is because we took the family to see Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, which happens to be the sixth movie in the series.

Personally, in the past I had heard a lot of bad about Harry Potter. Many people I know proclaimed this book series as evil. However, after I got married, my step children were already into Harry Potter, so I decided to give the movies a look myself. Honestly, I have never found any evil or corruption in these books and movies.

There are some people who seem to have the idea that since there is magic, wizards, and more in these books, they are evil books. Well let me point you to The Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis. Look at all the magic and strange creatures that appear in these books, yet most parents find them just fine for their kids. I really don't see much of a different between these two series of books.

From my experience, I would say that what the Harry Potter books and movies really portray is the age old struggle between good and evil. In fact, I have found that in many ways they are almost allegorical, portraying Christian events through secular literature, something that C.S. Lewis lauded as very effective. Yes, children do see evil, they see magic, and more in these movies, but they see the triumph of good over evil, and what a struggle this really is.

Of course, showing these movies to your kids or allowing them to read the books is a personal choice. However, I do believe as a parent that Harry Potter can be a great tool for you to teach your child more about good vs. evil, faith, and more. It opens the door in an entertaining way for you to teach your children more about your own belief system, which is important.

So this is my opinion on the Harry Potter controversy. I think that these books and movies can be used to help teach your kids important lessons, but you do need to make sure that you consider your own personal values and ideas and make a decision that you feel comfortable with for you and your children.

What do you think about Harry Potter? Let us know. We'd love to hear what you have to say about this and even some of the other literature out there for kids today here at Parents R Us.

P.S. In my research I've found some interesting articles and papers on Christian values that come up in the Harry Potter books and movies. Here is the link to an article on Harry Potter and the Bible, which I found very interesting. You may want to check it out.