What is a parent? That is a very good question I think, and one that is addressed in both serious and comedic fashion on a regular basis here at Parents R Us. Both Joy and I have covered the topic of parenting from many different angles since we started this blog, but today with Joys blessing I am just going to cover the question what is a parent.

I think a parent is a person who always considers the needs of a child or children first before giving themselves any consideration. This does not mean that all decisions will ultimately be in the best interest of the child/children, just that they are the first consideration. Lets face it there will unfortunately always come a time when as a parent you will have to compromise.

Joy and I both personally know people who have had to make these considerations and serious decisions. Some of these people we know have very inspiring stories and in some cases we even consider these stories heroic. An amazing thing is that most of these people would not even think of themselves as heroes, but at least to their children they are.

Joy has a very good friend who lost her husband and father to her two children in a gun fight in Pennsylvania not to long ago, and he was a law enforcement officer. Yet with this woman and her children’s lives crumbling all around her she kept her wits about her and made the hard decisions for her children that kept them all on the right track. This woman is a parent.

I have a very good friend of mine who has spent a lot of time and money to get custody of all of her sisters children because her sister is addicted to drugs. This friend of mine just recently got custody of the last and youngest of her sister’s kids who also happens to be bi-racial. Her only consideration was these children who are her family. This person is what I call a parent.

A parent is also any person who gets up every day and makes those decisions involving the care, feeding, clothing, health, and education of their kids even when these decisions are not always the easiest. Lets face it people but in these tough and hard economic times these decisions are becoming even more and more harder to make as the budget shrinks and employment opportunities are disappearing at an alarming rate.

These parents may even include unwed teen mothers who know they are not fit to care for a child, but choose adoption over abortion. These parents are also single people as well as married couples who want to adopt for whatever reason but will love them fiercely. In the case of my cousin they may even be a gay couple who have adopted a child and love them unconditionally just as if the child were one of their own.

I guess that at the end of all of this bloviating of mine about what a parent is, I have come to the conclusion that a parent is a person who just loves their children to the extreme. A parent only want what is best for their children, and will never quit or give up the good fight to make their children’s lives and world a better place for them to grow up in.

Well that is about all I have to say for now other that to quote a lady I heard recently. “Some people have the idea that a baby isn’t wanted, but a baby is ALWAYS wanted…maybe not by you but by someone”. So remember that adoption is always a woman’s choice too. To all of you parents out there you are the hero’s. Have a great day my friends and CIAO4NOW!!!!!

When I was a kid, I would have never even dreamed of having a phone of my own, much less a cell phone. I mean, seriously, I'm only 29 and I remember when cell phones were brick size. I didn't even have phone privileges at all when I was a kid. However, it seems that today things are a lot different and just about everyone has a cell phone, including kids.

Our teenage daughter has a cell phone, and it hasn’t come without some ground rules. I don't necessarily have a problem with kids and teens having cell phones, but I do believe that there must be some rules surrounding kids and cell phones for their safety and our sanity.

After all, you only need do a bit of research and you'll find quite a few horror stories surrounding cell phones. Not only are sexual predators on the internet these days, but they are stalking kids on their cell phones as well. There is also the problem of "sexting" going on, where kids use cell phones to text sexual messages and pictures to each other.

Just recently I was talking to someone, who will remain anonymous. She was having problems with her son and took his cell phone away from him. When she took the phone, she was horrified to find all kinds of porn pictures on the phone as well as many sexual text messages. This kid was only 15 years old and was already into all kinds or hardcore porn. This is one danger of cell phones, and parents you must watch out for this if you kids have a cell phone. Kids can send it to each other or if they have internet on their phones, they can easily find porn for cell phones too.

Not only is their the danger of predators and porn and "sexting," but there is also the danger of a humongous bill. Recently I read in the news about a teenager that ran up a bill over $4,000 in a month's time. This is not the norm, but I know a teen myself that ran up a bill over $1000. Once you go over your minutes or text messages, those charges add up quickly, not to mention the costs of downloading games, ringtones, and backgrounds for phones.

Due to the dangers that are out there when it comes to cell phones, in our family we have some basic ground rules regarding the cell phone. Here is a look at some of the rules we use that you may want to consider for you teen as well.

- Rule #1 - The phone is not used after 10pm. Unless there is special permission for an extra 5-10 minutes, which happens very rarely, the phone is not in use after this time. There is no way we are going to let our kids stay up all night texting or playing on their phone.

- Rule #2 - Cell phones are not answered during dinner. In fact, they are not even allowed at the dinner table. Not only is this a rule for our kids, but it is a rule we keep as well. Unless we are expected an important call, we don't answer our phones during dinner. That is family time, we are eating, and whoever is calling can wait. We try to lead by example here.

- Rule #3 - The cell phone is not used in the office while my husband and I are working. My husband and I both work at home. The home office is where we work, and it is difficult to work with a teen jabbering away on the phone the entire time we are trying to work. So when we are working, the cell phone is not used in the office area. Unless it is business related, my husband and I generally don't take calls in the office either. We move to another room to avoid disturbing each other.

- Rule #4 - The privilege of a cell phone is performance based. My husband and I believe that the cell phone is a privilege, not a right in this house. This means that if our kids don't take care of their responsibilities, they may lose their cell phone. (This also applies to computer use) If our kids don’t take care of their chores or their homework, during the school year, then the cell phone goes "bye-bye" until they improve on taking care of their responsibilities.

- Rule #5 - Cell phones don't get used during school, unless there is an emergency. Most schools don't allow cell phones to be out during class anyway. If the teacher takes our kids phones, then we don't feel the need to go get the phone back right away.

- Rule #6 - We, meaning my husband and I, don't take a backseat to the cell phone. This means that when our kids are told to do something, we don't wait for them to get off the phone. We don't wait on dinner because of the cell phone either. In our family we believe that family is the most important thing, and family doesn't fall in second place to a cell phone.

These are just a few of the rules that we use when it comes to our teens and the use of cell phones. I believe cell phones can be a great tool to have. They are very useful for when you have kids involved in after school activities so they can call you. I have also found that they are useful in many other ways. As long as there are rules that guide them, they can be a great tool.

Thanks for checking out Parents R Us again. Do you have kids with cell phones? Share your comments, rules, or stories with us. We'd love to hear what you think about kids and cell phones.

Welcome to Parents R Us. Hope your summer is going well and that you are surviving it.

When you are a parent, there are just some things that you hear that make you cringe or want to go hide. I know that every time I hear certain words come out of my kids' mouths I know we are in trouble. Lol. Here is a list of a few things you never want to hear your kids say. Yes, some of them are truly scary…

- "Mom, would you still love me if my room was on fire?"

- "Happy Mother's Day. I bedazzled your Dolce bag for you Mom."

- "It's okay to put tinfoil in the microwave, right?"

- "Doesn't Spike (the dog) look good in Armani?"

- "You didn't say I couldn't…"

- (When brushing your teeth) "Oops, I forgot to tell you I dropped your toothbrush in the toilet yesterday mom."

- "Uh Oh"

- "Come see what I did Mom"

- "Mom, remember that formerly in mint condition car…"

- "But I made it myself…"

Feel free to add some of your own in the comments. I'd love to hear what your kids say that makes you laugh or scares the life out of you. Lol.

I like to think that as parents the better half and I are fairly easy going in that department. We make sure that both of our teenagers have everything they need and most of what they want too. As far as our kids go they a pretty well behaved and they seem to love us as much as we love them. Both of our kids also have their own sets of responsibilities in and around the house that they are required to complete if they want their allowances and other privileges too.

However at what point do we have to draw the line when it appears that they are not living up to their responsibilities, which I might add are not as tough or stringent as in other families. We really feel that throughout the course of the day as well as for the week that they do not have to do all that much in order to keep their privileges and toys. Yet every now and then they seem to want to see how much they can get away with and the second they get called on it, they act like their life has ended and that we are picking on them.

I’m not going to tell you that I was a well behaved teenager, because the truth is I may not have been the devil back then, but I was one of his own, or so my mother tells me, LOL. However my wife, who for the record has had her moments as a teen, was an academic in highschool and college, as well as the proverbial preachers daughter, and fairly conservative as a teen. As a result of our differences in our upbringings we have come to realize that there has to be rules and punishment when they are broken.

Now before you all jump to conclusions I am not talking about physical punishment at all. Besides both of our kids are to old for a spanking at this stage in their lives, although for the record as a father I never believed in sparing the rod to spoil the child. I punish them by taking away their computer, phone, TV, allowance and sometimes even their social obligations to friends.

I’m here to tell you when they lose any of those you will get their attention too. When my kids want those things back they break land speed records in the performance of their familial obligations. Don’t get me wrong they will moan and complain the whole time they are taking care of business, but they get it all done in record time. Somehow I don’t think that this makes us bad parents either, so let us know what you think.

That’s all today for this installment of Parents “R” Us, but I guarantee you will be hearing from us again soon. Have a terrific day and CIAO4NOW!!!!!

Ahhh summer break. It's the thing every kid looks forward to all year long and every parent dreads all year long. Even I used to look forward to it when I was a kid. Lol. Summer break is in full swing now, and more than likely you are dealing with some changes in your life now that the kids are at home 24/7. This is today's topic for Parents R Us.

As a parent, I don't believe I ever fully understood the phrase in the Christmas song, "Mom and Dad can hardly wait for school to start again." I do now! I've experienced this on school breaks, and summer is even longer.

Personally, I always find it difficult to adapt to a new schedule. I get a good schedule going, I get into it, and I like it that way. While the kids were in school this year, my husband and I adapted to our own schedule. We both work at home and we had a great schedule, work during the day, a little more work in the evening, relax for a couple hours, then go to bed. Then the whole schedule was changed when the kids got out of school.

It's getting better, but I do have to admit I'm still trying to adjust. I wake up and my home office is already invaded by kids. There are about 500 questions asked each day. I'm trying to work and some random question is asked in the middle of my work, like "How do you spell dinosaur?" There went my train of thought and I'm now preoccupied with the idea that my 8th grader going into 9th grade is asking me how to spell "dinosaur." What are they teaching kids in school anyway??? My reply..."Google it."

They always seem to want something else to eat too. I mean seriously…how much can two kids eat? I can't even sneak to my office with a small lunch without it being "eyed' by the kids. Then I just end up fixing some for everyone. An hour later I'm finally back to work again. Lol.

Just about the time I get in a good working groove, there is some kiddie related interruption. "Mom, the cable is acting funny." "Can you buy more ice cream?" "Will you help me fix my hair?" "When will the laundry be done?" The questions go on and on.

Plus there is the fact that time alone with my husband is practically non-existent unless we stay up really late at night. Even then, there seems to be a kid that decides to wander the house just at the moment things seem to "heat up" (if ya know what I mean). By now a lock on the outside of their bedroom door is beginning to sound REAL good.

If you are a parent trying to work at home, or even if you work out of the home, you no doubt know how different the summer can be. All you can do is hang on, work to preserve your sanity, and pray that school (free daycare) starts again soon. Of course by the time the end of the summer comes, you'll be adapted to the summer schedule, and once again you'll be back to getting into a new schedule. Ahhh, the changes never end when you have kids…

So what are you experiencing with the kids home this summer? Share your laughs, your frustrations, and even your tears with us. We're here to listen and enjoy hearing from other parents. Check back soon and you'll find some great tips on how to keep the kids busy during the summer. Thanks for checking out Parents R Us. Until next time, God Bless. You need every blessing you can get. :-)

I have to tell you that Joy’s last post on Parents “R” Us was very funny as well as insightful. However I feel that there was one aspect of vacationing or just getting away for a day or two that I need to address. What I am talking about is not only quality time with your whole family, but with your significant other as well.

Let’s face it when you have a family and you go out of town for a little change of scenery or a full blown vacation, it is a safe bet that everyone is going along including the family pet if you have one. The problem with that is chances are dad and mom need some of that time away for themselves. Of course you can rule the daytime hours out because that’s when the whole family is together.

Unfortunately that just leaves the hours between when the kids crash out and then wake up, and on vacation the normal bedtime curfew is almost impossible to enforce. Still as adults you have to find a way to maximize the benefits of that time to your advantage. There are some pretty simple ways to do that for your parental selves too. All you have to do is be a little creative and maybe a little sneaky too.

Guys you can do things for your woman like making sure that the hotel accommodation you booked, is a suite with a bedroom for the two of you. Having a late night candle light room service delivered for the two of you. A little wine or champagne on the balcony is nice and add strawberries, because they enhance the flavor of the wine and bubbly. Make sure that you let her know she is attractive to you and desired, then prove it intimately.

Lady’s the things you can do for your guy are simple. Since you spend most of your time playing taxi, cleaning the house, doing the shopping, and even working in most cases you don’t get to dress sexy enough so here is your chance. Let your fella know that he is loved, desired, appreciated, and very special to you too. There is nothing better for creating a harmonious relationship than intimacy between the two of you.

Remember if the two of you are not happy then there is a very good chance that no one in your immediate family is going to be happy. One of the reasons for going away is to de-stress and decompress. Another is doing the same old thing day in and day out. Just remember that it is not the only the kids that get to have fun, but you need to play once in a while to.

However if you are just going out of town for a day or two and grandma or whoever you trust will watch the kids for that time, then ignore all of the family related comments in this blog. At that point go out and be big kids during your escape, but remember that consenting adult playtime is also a necessity to take advantage of as well.

That’s it for this post but I will be back again soon. Have an awesome day and CIAO4NOW!!!!!

Welcome to Parents R Us. It's been a bit since we've been around, and vacation has been part of the reason, which happens to be my topic for today's post.

If you have kids of your own, you probably already know that a well planned vacation can turn into quite an experience. Of course the big thing that I learned on our past vacation was that even when things don't go as planned, incredible memories are often born through those trying times.

This past weekend we took off on a Friday for the mountains, hoping to escape the hot 100+ degree temperatures, as well as work, for a bit. We planned our trip up to Sedona and Flagstaff, Arizona. Our first mistake was booking a room in Flagstaff, which is about 25 miles away from Sedona. The reason we decided to make this choice is because we found a great deal on a great "sounding" suite. The prices were a bit cheaper than down in Sedona, our target goal, so we decided to make the reservation.

After a stressful work week trying to cram all of our work into a few days, we finally took off Friday afternoon. Of course we should have made that trip earlier, since we spend a good bit of time in traffic, which often occurs on the weekend with many hot people from the greater Phoenix area heading towards cooler temperatures for the weekend.

The drive was beautiful. There were mountains all around, beautiful vistas to behold, and we were all set for a weekend of relaxation and fun. That is until we reached Flagstaff. We pulled into the hotel about 5pm, ready to unload, relax, find dinner, and really start relaxing. Well, that wasn't to be…

When we first arrived, the hotel was definitely much different than the pictures on the website. (It was actually one of the Choice Hotels group, which I've always had good experience with in the past). I wasn't very impressed, but walked in, figuring that perhaps the outer appearance would be deceiving…and I've never been SO wrong.

After paying for the room (who knew I had to pay beforehand, when did they start that) we went to unload in our room. As we walked through the door we were greeted by a cold wind. There on the floor lay the window, shattered in a million pieces on the floor. Now it may have been 100+ in Phoenix, but up in Flagstaff it was supposed to be in the 30's that night, so the wind was really cold. I couldn't believe that the window was on the floor, and to make matters worse, our 2-bedroom suite with living room turned out to be a ratty living room with another room crammed with 2 beds.

Talk about a bad beginning to a vacation. I immediately called the front desk as we surveyed the room. The carpet had holes, the entire room smelled horrid, the microwave had a huge dent in it, and then there was the window shattered all over the floor. I quickly decided that maybe working sounded pretty good compared to this disaster.

So, by the time the manager arrived, we weren't so sure we wanted to stay, even after they fixed the window. All I could think about is one of the kids getting cut on some leftover sliver of glass, not to mention the room was still so cold I was sitting there shivering.

It was now 6pm and we had to start looking for other accommodations. There I am on my computer looking for some other option. Our whole plan had been around the suite, with a room to give my husband and me a bit of privacy for a weekend to enjoy some romantic time together. There was nothing available in Flagstaff, and so I looked in Sedona, but everything was horribly expensive and no suites were available. Finally my husband called an old favorite of ours in Sedona, and we were amazingly able to get a room if we could get there in 90 minutes. The room was a room with only 2 queen beds, but we didn't have many options, so we took it. We knew it was clean, warm, and had a balcony with a great view.

So, we all loaded all the luggage back in the car, went to get our money back (which still hasn't been put back on my credit card I may add) and all piled into the car to take off to try and make it to the hotel in time.

Frustrated, feeling horrible, and thinking that this may have been a disastrous start to our vacation, we went on our way. However, as we drove, we were treated to a lovely sunset and incredible scenery as we traveled through the canyon and down to Sedona. I was reminded that often it is those detours in life that provide us with the most amazing views and scenery.

Finally we arrived at our destination, once again unloaded all the luggage, and then we had to find food. The hour was late, and places were closing, so we drove around for about 40 minutes trying to find a good place to eat that wouldn't cost $50 per person. Lol. We finally found the Red Planet Diner, an alien themed restaurant, not our first choice, but when you are that hungry, the décor doesn't matter anymore. We then scarfed down food like we had never seen it before.

The rest of the weekend was incredible. Even in our cramped quarters we enjoyed a great time as a family. We explored the red rocks, took pictures, and even spend some time in the Chapel of the Holy Cross, a beautiful little Catholic chapel right on the red rocks. It was incredible. There were the moments we spent time sitting on our balcony in the moonlight, enjoying time together, and even though the vacation had a bad start, it was a special time as a family. It wasn't the romantic time we had planned, but we all definitely grew closer as we dealt with everything as a family.

Of course one more thing that we learned on our trip home was never listen to women at antique consignment shops when it comes to directions. We were trying to take a new and scenic way home. We were given directions by a lady at "Three Sisters" consignment shop, an antique shop along the road we found. It took us the wrong way, which we finally figured out, so we stopped and asked a cop.

The cops directions weren't that much better. We were looking for a bathroom and a place to eat. I'd already been frantic to use the bathroom for more than an hour, but he said there was everything we'd need just a few miles up the road. Now that was a joke. We went through a portion of this town, but there were not restaurants to stop in. We kept going, thinking there must be something ahead. Then we found ourselves in the mountains. Nothing to see but mountains all around. The road was crazy, with switchbacks every couple of minutes, and by this time three of us were desperate to find a bathroom.

We kept getting excited when we would see a sign for a town ahead. Then the town would consist only of 3-4 houses, a small church, and a biker bar. Not willing to brave the bar, we kept going. The mountains seemed like they would never end. In fact, there weren't even any houses around most of the time, much less a gas station where we could find relief for our aching bladders. Finally in Peeples Valley, we found a lonely gas station. We practically ran through the door, as locals sitting around watched with curiosity. Finally we all had our bathroom break - 40 miles after where we should have. I truthfully had begun to think that there was never an end to these mountains.

We all got a little crazy, but thankfully we didn't have to find a cactus to hide behind to relieve ourselves. Lol. We all will remember Peeples Valley as long as we live. The wonderful people with the little gas station that had bathrooms.

So, note to self for the future:

- Don't ever book in Flagstaff again
- If the rates sound too good to be true…there's probably a broken window
- Never listen to a lady that runs a consignment antique shop when you need directions
- Population 5 people doesn't equal a town
- The best memories often come from the most frustrating times.