Welcome back to Parents R Us. It’s been some time since we’ve posted, but hopefully you will begin seeing more posts in the future.

Specifically for moms here, let me share with you a little disaster that I dealt with over the weekend.

Occasionally, I like to color my hair. Usually I do it about every 4 months. My personal philosophy (if there is a philosophy of hair coloring) is that keeping fairly close to your real color is a great idea. I usually do that to avoid having to color so often. Usually I go with a nice auburn/mahogany color, which isn’t far from my true hair color. I like the results. However, this time I made a fatal mistake.

I wanted to go with something with just a touch more red. I had seen a hair color I wanted to try in a magazine by Garnier. I use their hair color products and I’ve always liked them. Enter their new 10 minute bamboo infused treatment. Ladies, do not try this at home!

I was at Walgreens, considering my hair color options, when I was tempted and enticed by the girl working there. She told me if I went with the 10 minute option by Garnier she had a coupon. Oh…I love coupons. I absolutely love to save, and this time it was my downfall. I happily went with the suggested product (should I have perhaps thought about the fact this girl was barely over 18 and probably not the best one to go to for hair care advice?…yes!!!!), then I paid for my discounted product and went on my way.

Saturday night after the kids went to bed, I figured I have the 10 free minutes to myself, so I decided to get this coloring job underway. It smelled a bit different, but the box promised my hair color results would be exactly what I wanted (yeah don’t believe those things that tell you what the color will be) and it said the bamboo would be really moisturizing.

I put in the dye for the appropriate time. Got in the shower and rinsed it out and then conditioned with the special conditioner they offered. It irritated my scalp, which was weird, and maybe that was the first sign that something was wrong. I got out, towel dried the hair, and then I looked. Big mistake. I was shocked. Instead of the nice auburn my hair was some weird shade of dark magenta, or a strange purple, or well, I’m not sure really how to describe it. I looked at the box again. Definitely not the color promised on the box.

Now I am panicking. My husband says it looks okay, after getting over his initial shock at my new look. My daughter loves it, but she wants pink hair – no, I don’t think I should trust that advice and opinion. Lol. Now, my hair looks scary, the dye has it so dried out, and that has never happened before. Maybe I should just be happy with my hair and stop trying something new. Lol.

Was there a lesson learned here? Well, I definitely learned that you shouldn’t go with the “deal” on hair color. Also, beware of young sales girls. They have no idea what they are talking about. Most of all, I have learned that I really, really, really, like the color of my own hair. I’d love to have it back. So, beware moms. Avoid that 10 minute Garnier hair color. It is dangerous! They should have a warning on the box: “color may be stranger than it appears.”

So, I’ve posted a picture of my hair here. Let me know what you think gals. Do I just try to love it for the next 30 days (it only lasts 28 washes thankfully) or should I get some of that “oops” stuff that takes out hair color, even though it may be rough on my hair to do that? Any suggestions would be great.

Welcome back to Parents R Us. Today I want to talk specifically to moms, but guys feel free to read too. If you're a mom, more than likely you have particular ideas about what a mom should be. Maybe you're always trying to be the "perfect" mom and beating yourself up because you can never achieve that perfection you think you need to have. Part of your problem may be your idea of what a mom should be.

Most of us find ourselves being jealous of the mom down the street that seems to have it all together. She looks perfect, seems to balance everything perfectly, and we just don't think we'll measure up. What you probably don't know is that behind closed doors, that mom is just as frazzled as the rest of us.

The pressure is really on moms. Moms are supposed to know the right foods to feed the kids, the perfect stroller, the best activities for our kids, we're supposed to discipline our kids the right way, love them perfectly, and keep a household going smoothly. If we don't get everything quite right, soon we're calling ourselves a "bad mom," and worrying that our kids will never turn out quite right. Sometimes this comes from pressure all around us, like the media, movies, and books that talk about the "perfect" moms, and other times this pressure comes from our own expectations of yourself.

It's time to give yourself a bit of a break. We're going to look at some of the most common mommy myths out there and the truth behind them. You'll quickly realize you really aren't doing too bad as a mom.

Mommy Myth #1 - Great Moms ALWAYS Like Their Children
Big myth! Yes, you love your kids, but this doesn't mean you always like them. With all the challenges that come along with motherhood, there is no way you can be happy with your kids 24/7. It just won't happen. There are probably days you can't wait for bedtime so you can have some peace from them. It's not wrong to let your kids know when they aren't making you happy either. Don't suppress your feelings, but learn to handle them in a constructive way.

Mommy Myth #2 - Great Moms Immediately Bond with Their Kids
Most of us have the idea that the instant you have a child, you bond. It does work this way a lot of the time, but not every time. Many mother finds that they instantly bond with one of their children, but with other children it takes time for this bond to grow. Some women go through postpartum depression and find it difficult to find that bond. Don't worry. The bond will grow. Relationships take time, and this even includes your kids. This is true for step parents as well. If you become a step parent, don't expect to have that immediate bond. Trust takes time and the bond will take time, no matter how much of a mother's heart you have.

Mommy Myth #3 - Great Moms Can Balance Everything
We all know a mom that seems to balance everything smoothly. Her house looks perfect, she is balancing a great career, and her kids seem to act so well behaved all the time. It may look that way to you, but you're not seeing behind the scenes when she falls apart. You don't need to think that you can do it all, and you definitely shouldn't try to do it all. Interestingly enough, in other cultures, when a mother has a new child, other women band together to help her out. We definitely don't see this often in the U.S., and most of us think we just have to do it all on our own. You can't do it all! Realize it and come to terms with it. Sometimes your house won't look great, you may not always finish everything you want to, the grocery shopping may need to wait a day, and your kids won't always behave. It's okay. You're human after all.

Mommy Myth #4 - Great Moms Spend Lots of Time with the Kids and They Love It
Too many moms think they have to be there for their kids all the time. They try volunteering at school, going to every single game, helping out with field trips, and more. Moms need to realize that there can be too much of something great. Yes, your kids need your love and attention, but you can overdo it. Sometimes your kids are ready for a bit of independence. It's easy to try to do all these things to be with our kids, and then we really don't even spend quality time with them. Kids would rather have some of your time where you can relax, laugh, and enjoy being together. They won't enjoy it if your stressing out trying to man the punch bowl at their big school party, attempting to be at every game, and more. At this point, it becomes time that is not quality time because you're killing yourself. Spend quality time with your kids, but don't squash their independence.

These are only a few of the mommy myths out there that need to be dispelled. When we try to live up to myths, we end up stressing ourselves out. The best advice for moms is to try and follow your own instincts as a mom. Quit trying to be the "perfect" mom and just relax and keep trying to be the best mom you can be. Your kids will love this relaxed, yet imperfect, mom a lot more. You'll even teach them the lesson that they don't have to be perfect either - an important lesson for kids to learn!

Hi there, and thanks for taking time to visit Parents R Us. Today my post is especially directed towards the moms, although I know you dads will definitely get some insight from this post too, so don't bail out thinking this is only for women. After all, some of this can apply to men too.

Today I want to talk to moms about losing your identity in motherhood. Perhaps you have heard of this or it may have never crossed your mind. Whatever the case, this is a problem that many moms deal with and I really think it needs to be addressed.

Now admittedly, I'm not a conventional mom. I didn't get nine months to prepare for my kids - I became "insta-mom" lol. However, I know that I have found that it is very easy to become a mom and become totally immersed in motherhood (whether you give birth to children, adopt them, or get them by marriage).

Becoming immersed in motherhood is not a bad thing. It's great that you love your children - you should! The problem arises when you begin to lose your identity. If you have kids, you know what I mean. One day you look in the mirror and wonder who that is, or perhaps you find yourself in the grocery store suddenly forgetting how to communicate with people over the age of 5.

Women who work at home or stay at home with the children are often more likely to experience the loss of their own identity. When you are the "caretaker" for your children, sometimes those maternal instincts can directly conflict with having an identity of your own. The thing is, if you want to be the best mom, you have to maintain a strong sense of self.

You need to remember that you are a person, other than just a mom. You have dreams, hopes, likes, dislikes, wants, and needs - just like anyone else. Start pushing these things into the background all the time, and you are going to suffer from burnout, or "losing yourself." Yes, burnout can happen to moms. Simply look at the depression statistics among women who have children - they are staggering! This depression can occur postpartum or at other stages of motherhood. Many times the reasons moms go through depression (and some even suffer from nervous breakdowns) is because they have lost a sense of self, or a sense of their own identity.

You may be thinking, "this could never happen to me." You're wrong! If you don't take time now to maintain your own identity, you can deal with these problems, and at times they can become quite severe. The key is to recognize the problem before it becomes severe and work to make sure you keep your own identity. How can you do this? Here are some suggestions:

- Avoid being a mom that is too possessive. When you are overly possessive of your children, you give away your personal power to your children.

- Don't try to please your kids all the time. Not only will you wear yourself out, but you'll lose their respect, and you'll stop respecting yourself.

- Remember your own needs. Listen to them. It's not selfish to remember your own needs - it's simply honest and can help you maintain your own identity.

- When your kids make mistakes, remember it doesn't reflect on you. Too many moms feel like failures when kids make mistakes. You are doing fine as long as you are letting your kids learn through experiences of their own so they eventually become self directed.

- Have a life other than the kids. I know, it sounds impossible. However, you need to have a life that includes friends, your family, and activities you enjoy.

- Eliminate words like "guilty" and "selfish" from your dictionary. When you use these words on yourself, they destroy your confidence and diminish your true worth.

- Come to the realization that your kids don't ALWAYS need you for every little thing. There are quite a few things they can do on their own - you just have to let them.

- Get your spouse involved. If you are a single parent, then recruit the help of friends and family. You shouldn't have to do this alone.

- Last of all, stop thinking you have to be a perfect mom. Parenting is like an art that you are always working on. When you think you have to be perfect, this puts an unnecessary burden on you.

If you have forgot who you are, if you look in the mirror and don't recognize the face, or you just no longer even know who lives inside your body, it's time to do something about it. Don't lose your identity. If you do lose your identity, you can't be the mom you need to be. Moms who know who they are, who maintain their identity, and who ensure their emotional needs are met, are able to give even more to their children. So, it's not selfish, it is in your best interest and in the best interest of your family too.

I know this post is a bit long, but I have felt it is an important topic. Many moms have "crashed and burned" because of this problem. Hopefully this will be helpful to other moms out there. If you have any comments or advice to add, feel free to leave a comment. We always love to hear what you have to say!